Billy the Mime is not a mime. He’s a madman who puts white on his face and acts out travesties. I have never seen a live show better than the one he does. You may have seen him in a previous movie of mine, “The Aristocrats.” He stole the show, working silently with a mic pack on.
How bad have you made me? Well, Billy can act out abortion and Tom Jefferson fucking Sally without words. He can tell the whole story of the African-American Experience and the AIDS crisis without even a whisper.
But, I’m so bad . . . I make the mimes talk. Tell them, Billy!
And thank you all for my evil.
Carrot Top Knows Dicks and Assholes
My buddy, Carrot Top, is not just a prop comic. Nope. He can be funny without props ... but you can’t prove it from this.
You do NOT want to watch this at work. You might not want to watch it at all.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz proves it, Penn's officially crossed over to FULL BAD!!!Nobody is more world renown for being full tilt BAD than evil scientist and all around detestable villian, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. As CEO of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Doof has made a career out of hatching diabolical schemes, creating elaborate devices specifically designed to wreak as much mass destruction as possible and being an all around thorn in the side of Perry the Platypus. But it's lonely at the top. When Doof got wind that Penn's "Make Penn Bad" campaign was a rip-snortin success, he just had to call him and welcome Penn into the club. And a very nasty club it is...
Larry Gatlin – What Does a Good Christian Country Boy Think of Bad Penn?
Okay, we’re over 110% bad. We have vindicated Lou Ferrigno’s shitty math. You can’t get worse than that. We’re bad. So, I asked my Christian Country buddy, Larry, to walk it home. Now, my atheism bugs Larry, but the fellow knows bad. If you don’t know, the baddest rocker can’t keep up with the cleanest country boys. These guys know bad. He was good friends with Johnny Cash. Maybe Bad Penn should start wearing all black.
Madame – Hey Fuck You in Your Wooden Ass
What did I get from Madame? Huh? Splinters in my bad ass dick.
Florence Henderson – She’s a Good Person – She’s Mrs. Brady for Christ’s Sake
I’ve known Florence for years. We’ve done shows together and hung out. She’s funny sweet and smart. She knows that Bad Penn is just a joke and no matter how much money I get for this movie, I’m still a good guy. She knows. She’s mostly kidding, right?
Svengoolie knows bad from BAAAD!Horror show hosts are staples of a bygone era. Generations of movie fans got their first exposure to iconic fiends and villains Dracula, Frankenstein and Dr. Phibes, from local TV personalities like New York's Zacherley, Cleveland's Ghoulardi and LA's Elvira. Though most of these spooky spokespeople have gone the way of the Western, in my hometown of Chicago the terrifying tradition is still alive and well thanks to Svengoolie. I got my first film school education growing up watching Sven. I saw all the old classic Universal monster movies, all of Britain's Hammer films, all of A.I.P.'s Classic drive-in Bs and all of Japan's "giant monster crushes Tokyo" fare. So with an all encompassing slate like that, if anybody knows a bad guy from a BAAAD guy, it's (said all scary and ghostly) SvengoOOooOooOOolie!!!!
Sam Harris is an Expert on Bad
My buddy, Sam, wrote “The Moral Landscape.” He’s spent a lot of time studying the idea of good and bad, so now that the movie is being made and we’re over our goal to make me bad. I write to Sam all the time in Email, so he’s getting a pretty good sense of who I’ve become. I’m eager to see this one. Sam is a really smart and good guy. Fuck him.
DOODLE #8 - 110% BAD and Growing!
Teller is Wicked Happy with the New Penn!
Hey, we’re making a movie with Bad Penn and Teller is thrilled about it! He’s been so supportive. We’re at about 110% of our goal and still going strong. We’re starting production and looking for our stars. It’s great to have a performing partner that is so supportive of me becoming a bad guy. He’s digging it. Thanks.
Dee Snider Welcomes Me to Bad
Dee Snider played Captain Howdy (also the name of one of my bands) in his movie, StrangeLand. He was good at being bad. And now, that I’m way over 100% bad, Dee comes in to cheer me on. Thanks, Dee, thanks everyone! Remember, the more money we get, the creepier this movie will be. We’ve still got plenty of cool rewards.
Gilbert Gottfried Makes the Right Choice
Gilbert Gottfried is a good friend and a comedy genius. Money is pouring in, so I thought I’d give Gilbert a call and test how bad I really am. I think I Bad Penn made Gilbert just a little funnier. What do you think?
Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna Have Noticed I’m Bad Bad Bad
I did CelebApp with Lisa and we had a blast. I just loved loved loved her and got to meet her great husband (who I watch on “Mad Men” – I get so excited when I see people I’ve met on TV). Now, we’re WAY over the amount we needed to make me 100% bad and we keep going. We keep going because we want to find out how bad I can get and because with more money, we can add chase scenes and bigger stars to the movie we’re all making together. It’ll all go on the screen.
Everyone tells me I’m bad, but I don’t feel that much different. But, I will say, Donald’s hair is looking very attractive to me. Very.
100% Bad Penn – Thank You All
Hey everybody, we’re making a movie! Some of you waited until the last minute and that got us a little scared but we made it. As a matter of fact, thanks to our newest buddy, Herbert Blount – we made it to the EXACT amount of $999.972. Herbert put in $27,327 and brought us up to exactly what we needed. We didn’t even have a reward for that exact amount, but let’s just say he’s executive producer and best friend for life. Hey, Herbert, we could never thank you enough. Herbert Blount, this is your movie!
To celebrate hitting our magic $999,972 – we have a special music video. The music is by David Fair and CooCooRockinTime. You all know David from The Band That Would Be King - Half Japanese. Jason, who edited and did all of the VFX for all of our celebrity videos, directed and edited our star-studded music video. It’s a special thank you song and video. I strongly suggest you strip naked and dance like a crazy monkey to this video. It’s what I did and it felt so good to be bad. (If you video yourself dancing naked, send it to us, and maybe we’ll cut it in and release another). David Fair is the greatest and you’ll love the song. Enjoy it and dance your ass off -- Hey everybody, we’re making a movie!
More good news – nothing has given me good news like becoming bad – We have hired Tevin Adelman as our line producer and he’s already working on getting us shooting as quickly as possible. We want to be rolling before the end of the year. I’ve almost convinced Rif to shoot at least most, if not all, of this movie in Vegas, which means my band can play all the wrap parties and you’ll all be invited. Viva Viva Director’s Cut!
Even more even better news – We have brought Denise Chamian onto our team. She’s not a casting director, Denise is THE casting director. Save me the typing and just look her up in IMDB. Yup, she did the casting on everything. Yeah, you, you, you, are making a movie with Denise Chamian and she is our key to big stars for the big staring roles (remember, I’m just the bad guy).
Denise thinks we can get some big name stars into our movie (that’s why we all hired Denise), so . . .
The best news . . .
. . . We’re going to keep the campaign going for another couple weeks. I have been so busy getting this movie funded and doing TV and radio (and my book, podcast, and Penn & Teller shows) that I didn’t get a chance to do my buddy, Glenn Beck’s show. I just couldn’t get my bad ass to TX to see him. So, he asked if I could do the show Tuesday and keep the funding open for his fans to be part of it after that. Okay, Glenn. Blaze people want to make our movie too. So, we’ll keep it open for a couple weeks and see if we get enough money to put a superstar in the lead. How groovy would that be? And if you have friends who wanted to be part of this, but couldn’t get around to it, they can still be on board. And if some of those rewards are looking groovy – well, grab another. In honor of Lou Ferrigno, let’s make me 110% bad!
So, that’s all good news – now take your fucking clothes off and dance to David Fair and CooCooRockinTime – you deserve it – We did it!
I’m bad and we’re all making a movie.
ACTUAL “Bad Penn” Shirt Worn on Halloween 2013 on “Morning Buzz” and Signed “Fuck You Penn” by Star Carrie Keagan!
I went on VH-1’s “Morning Buzz” as “Bad Penn” and it felt so fucking good. Thanks for getting us 90% there. Just a little more of a push, and I’m all bad. This was my first time in public as “Bad Penn” and it felt so right. This shirt has my bad sweat and some lipstick from Carrie. It’s also the shirt I was wearing when I grabbed her ass and said “Look at Me!” I asked her to sign it, and she signed “Fuck you Penn” – what more do you want. This is a historic shirt and has DNA from me and Carrie Keagan and unnamed others.
A lot of these rewards will give you the vibe of Bad Penn – this will give you the smell of him too and some DNA to boot.
There’s ONLY one of these. This is the first. First Bad Penn in public. First shirt. (Note the lipstick!)
Oh and . . . it’s sexy.
Director's Cut - Bringing Enemies Together
Lawrence O’Donnell and Glenn Beck disagree on almost everything, but they have both agreed to appear as cops in our movie. Yes, you’ll see the two of them playing police officers and discussing their good cop/bad cop strategy (although they may disagree on who the good cop is). Yes, Bad Penn is really bringing enemies together. Now let’s hear what they have to say about Penn.
Glenn Beck and Lawrence O’Donnell AGREE to Play Cops in “Director’s Cut.”
I’m friends with Glenn Beck. I’m friends with Lawrence O’Donnell. I don’t believe anyone else in the world can claim both of these things. And I disagree with both of them, almost as much as they disagree with each other. Glenn and Lawrence teamed up to do a “Make Penn Bad” video. It’s the first time, to my knowledge they have ever appeared together. Keep checking back here, because it’ll be up soon. No matter which one of them you hate, you’ll love this video.
But, even more important – I have gotten a tentative okay from BOTH Glenn and Lawrence to be in “Director’s Cut.” They have both agreed to appear AND ACT in “Director’s Cut.” Yeah, you’ve seen them in movies before, but it’s always playing themselves or generic newscasters. In our movie (and we’re all making this together), they will be playing police officers discussing their “good cop/bad cop” strategy. Lawrence and Glenn have never met before but they will meet in person on the set of “Director’s Cut.”
Some people who have contributed to the movie will be on the “Director’s Cut” set that day. There are crowd-funded extras in their scene. Some of our fellow filmmakers will witness in person this historic step towards world peace.
Y’all making me really bad . . . is helping to bring enemies together!
Glenn and Lawrence, O’Donnell and Beck – the ultimate cop/buddy team, and you’re making it happen.
"If You Want to Find Out Who Your Friends Are... Crowdfund Your Movie"
Here's a little experiment you probably don't want to run. Yeah, keep this one a thought experiment. It shouldn't be more than a gedanken. You might not want this experiment to get empirical. You might learn things you don't want to know.
Try this: Think about all your friends who would do you a favor. Now think about how much more willing those friends would be to do you that favor if that favor was talking about what an asshole you are. Run that experiment, but only in your head.
I have wonderful friends. My old friends, Neil Gaiman and Stephen Fry, are two of the greatest writers and thinkers of all time and my new friend, Trace Adkins is . . . well, he has a really low voice. These guys would all do anything for me. I have called in favors from all of them many times and they always deliver. I owe them all for the rest of my life and beyond, and only one of them even believes there is a beyond. That's what good friends they are.
DIRECTOR'S CUT DOODLE #6
My latest DIRECTOR'S CUT doodle was created at Cheebo on Sunset Blvd while waiting for my check to arrive. Obviously the campaign continues to consume my every thought, so when there's a paper table cloth and a crayon available I just can't help myself. As we inch ever closer toward our goal amount, an appropriate title came to me... "Getting Close". Thanks!!! -Rif
Joel Grey Sitting Alone in his Room Welcoming Me
to the Cabaret of Bad
If making “Director’s Cut” with y’all is half as much fun as raising the money to make “Director’s Cut,” it’ll be the happiest set in the history of Hollywood (which is damning with faint praise if I’ve ever typed it). Rif has tied up some loose ends on other projects and now he’s full speed ahead on making this movie. We had supper last night after I did Adam Carolla’s award-winning podcast and Rif and I are over the moon. Usually at this point in a movie, we’ve done so much compromising and fighting, that getting the money and starting is more relief than joy. Raising the money here has made us more excited about the movie every day. As other people get excited about our plan, we just get more revved up. We are ready to rave on.
Okay – the new video. I should really just send you the text messages back and forth with Rif, Pete, and I when my hero and buddy, Joel Grey, sent me this video. Lots of “STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING AND WATCH THIS NOW!” followed by “HOLY FUCKING SHIT.” Joel Grey turned in, without a doubt, one of the greatest performances in the history of entertainment in “Cabaret.” The character he played was complicated, sexy, scary, evil and perfect. You don’t get better than Mr. Grey.
And now he did a video for me in character! But, I don’t have to describe it (I would be unable), rather you can watch it and have your minds blown directly.
This has so far been beyond my wildest dreams, and all thanks to you. We’re making a movie, and the funding keeps rolling in to make it better and better. Thanks so much.
JOHN LANDIS KNOWS GOOD ACTORS FROM BAD ACTORS
This is a big one for me. John Landis has directed many of my favorite movies, all of which happen to be among Hollywood's biggest hits. Blockbusters like Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Coming To America, An American Werewolf In London, Trading Places, and many others. As one of the most successful filmmakers in the business, as well as being my longtime friend and mentor, John has taught me all the ins and outs of how movies are put together. One of the most important lessons John explained to me early on is that choosing the right cast is probably the single most important decision a Director can make. So when I told him that nice guy Penn Jillette was set to play the bad guy in DIRECTOR'S CUT, he had a unique perspective on the casting choice...
Listen to Penn Jillette's Appearance on The Adam Carolla Show
JEREMY BEATEN BY AN EVEN BIGGER DICK...PENN JILLETTE!
So I was curled up in bed with my laptop, the candles were lit, the music, romantic, and just as I was about to have an intimate experience with my Internet connection, everything came to an unexpected screeching halt. Seems Penn going bad has finally hit me where it hurts most. In my porn! As you can see, Penn is so bad, even The Hedghog can't get it up, which is a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. Is nothing sacred Penn!
I guess the only good news is that the worse Penn gets, the closer we are to reaching our goal. Sorry Ron, sometimes sacrifices have to be made for our art.
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Jim Norton Says I'm Becoming an Asshole and He Should Know
Thanks to you - this campaign is working! We're making a lot of money and no lessor authority on assholeishness than the great fucking Jim Norton can tell I'm going bad bad bad! Some would call Jim Norton a hypocrite for calling someone else an asshole, but . . . I see him more as an expert. He's a pro, he knows. Thanks, Jim, see you next week on O&A.
We've got a bit over a week and we're adding great rewards. Rif and I are meeting like crazy and actually making this movie. We're going to have fun brothers and sisters, fun fun fun. Thanks,Penn
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Penn's Ponytail - GONE!!!!!
Lin Shaye Knows Horror Movies – But, She Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet. B-b-b-b Baby, She Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet
This is some friend of Adam’s who thinks I’m all evil and shit. Good for her. I guess she thinks she knows evil. She does not! Money keeps rolling in to the last couple weeks, and the rewards are being scooped up like crazy. Keep your eyes peeled, some groovy stuff will be dropping.
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10/20/2013 - Update #7
Hey fellow filmmakers and partners in crime,
Adam Rifkin here with another update doodle. I was at a fancy schmancy dinner meeting last night telling some Hollywood hotshots all about the merits of crowdfunding and how putting movie funding directly into the hands of the fans has been extremely exciting and rewarding so far. They were fascinated by the process, I could see their wheels turning. When I told them that I'd been posting updates in the form of doodles I could tell they weren't getting a clear picture, so I whipped out my trusty pen and drew them an example of one on my placemat. And here it is, my latest (and quite impromptu) update doodle!
Thanks again for all your incredible belief and support. Penn and I are so happy that you guys have given us the gift of getting to make this movie! Keep spreading the word!!!
Gilbert Gottfried Yapping Again About How his “Friend” Penn is Oh So Bad. Crybaby.
Things are good to make me bad. I had a blast doing the Reddit AMA and people did Ask My Ass Anything, and I answered. Lots of folks wanna make me bad. This is going great beyond our wildest dreams. Have to dot a few I’s on our casting director’s contract, but if you guess who our dream person would be for this job, you’ll guess her. Adam is getting the budgets done and guess what, we need more money, but in the meantime we’re making a fucking movie! All of us.
It’s amazing, but I still love you all,
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Joan Rivers Reports on Teller Crying from his One Good Eye About Me and my Mom being Bad Bad Bad
Joan Rivers has been around showbiz a bit, and even she hasn’t seen someone be bad enough to make their own mother bad along with them. Joan’s known me a long time and she thinks my little project is working! Yeah, Joan – we can talk.
Meanwhile, we have our line producer in place and he’s monkeying with the budgets. We just got an amazing phone call from a wicked famous guy (one of the most famous in the world) who wants to play the police chief in our movie within a movie. Pete is trying hard to make the deal so we can announce that he’s on board. I’m telling you, you’re going to be wicked excited – Rif and I are jumping out of our skins.
I finished putting in all of Rif’s notes on hiz very careful read-through of the script, and what was creepy before is now . . . creepier minus zero no limit. We got creepy and funny. We’ll get all our fellow filmmakers the script really soon so you can read what we plan on doing (and see what changes we make as we make them – we’ll keep you posted). My favorite line in the whole script right now will be delivered by Adam Rifkin. He’s the real director, and because of that he plays the real director (as opposed to my delusional director), in the movie. Adam has the line – “I don’t like big guys.” It makes me laugh a lot. And in context . . . well, he should not like this big guy here at all.
This big guy is bad and getting badder.
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Amazing Randi Examines the Extraordinary Claim that I’m Really Turning into a Bad Guy
No one outside of my family means more to me than James Randi. It is no exaggeration to say that without Randi there would be no Penn & Teller. It’s also a fact that without Randi there wouldn’t be me the way I am today. It’s not just my career I owe to Randi, but so much of my life, so much of who I am. I asked him to look at the evidence that I’m becoming a bad guy and report on it.
Meanwhile, Rif, Pete, Glenn, and I keep working on this movie. We had a big conference call today about actors. Pete needs to close the deal, but I think we just landed a VERY groovy choice for one of the actors. Not our female lead yet (although you wouldn’t believe who I’m going to be meeting with, I’ll report later), but we might have the perfect choice for our police chief character in the movie within the movie. If Pete can land this guy – your minds will be blown. We’ll also need a bit more money, so let people know about this movie and get them on board. Let’s make a movie with STARS!
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My Dear Lisa Lampanelli is so Freaked by the New Bad Penn – She’s Singing!
The money keeps climbing up (but we still need more), and even as it comes in, Rif and Pete are spending it. We’ll release soon what casting director we decided on and an accountant to write checks with the money you’ve given us to make me bad.
Man, Lisa is so skinny now, it’s amazing. And she’s started singing. Yeah, baby, I’m bad.
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Teller has Noticed Me Getting Bad for “Director’s Cut” and He’s Very Supportive
“Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches / I'll recruit my army from the orphanages” - Bob Dylan.
Rif and Pete are in L.A. assembling our team for “Director’s Cut.” Even our accountant is going to be a bad motherfucker, just so the vibe goes all the way through. Meanwhile I’m on the road with “Penn & Teller” working on the script and getting badder and badder. I took some video backstage to show how happy Teller is with the new me!
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No One Says “Bad” Better Than Kevin Pollak – Listen
Kevin is so worried about me as his friend, that . . . am I crazy, or does he sound a little bit like Christopher Walken? I love the way he says “bad.” It’s an inspiration for me to go all the way.
We’re in pre-production on “Director’s Cut” counting on enough money coming in. We’re not only promising we’ll make this movie, we’re starting to make this movie. I’m in a hotel room in Cincinnati, filled with a SkyLine Chili 5-way doing a rewrite based on Rif’s notes. Man, I knew he was a great director and writer, but he’s also a great script doctor. Every note he gives is dead on. And he’s working to make me so bad that even Kevin/Christopher can’t say it strongly enough.
Even as I get bad,
I still love you,
Tom Bergeron On How the GOOD ol’ Days of Penn on Hollywood Squares and Dancing with the Stars – ARE GONE, DADDY GONE!
Here’s my buddy Tom Bergeron. It’s pretty sexy to see jovial TV host choke back tears over me. And I can feel my blackening heart jump for joy to see him take his eyes off the road while driving! We’re all getting a bit bad and it feels so fucking good.
I keep working on the script with the Rif and it’s getting . . . well . . .darker. The original plan was for me to be bad enough to play the bad guy in “Director’s Cut.” Well, the script keeps getting meaner and more shocking – I’m heading to hell, and hell just keeps getting a bit farther and hotter, but with your help, I will make it.
The best things in life are free
And money will bring out the worst in me.
With all the love still left in my heart,
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Religious Cross-Dressing and SM with my Good Buddy, Gilbert Gottfried
Hey Fellow Filmmakers,
My buddy Gilbert has noticed me going bad. Oh, I’ve made him notice. We’ve started work on the movie. Adam and I had our big script meeting and I’ve been writing my little fingers off making all the changes. Rif is great, the script is way better. The money keeps rolling in, thanks so much, and keep watching this space for more groovy videos.
Gotta run, Gilbert needs more evidence of my badness. (I look great in my outfit – seeing me in it should be a reward.)
Good morning fellow filmmakers and partners in crime,
Adam Rifkin here with some incredible news! I asked my friend Ben Stiller to shoot a short video in support of Penn. Just a few kind words about the "Make Penn Bad" DIRECTORS CUT campaign. Immediately upon hearing me mention Penn's name, Ben said yes! Ben is remarkable, I have no idea how he had time to make a video for DIRECTORS CUT considering he is promoting his newest film "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", finishing shooting another film and writing and producing 5 other projects. Yet, somehow he graciously carved out time to shoot this video.
I can't even believe I was able to connect with him in the first place as I think I literally caught him at the top of the Himalayan mountains shooting pick-ups for "Mitty". It was a terrible connection and he was between takes, very hard to hear, but as soon as he heard me mention Penn by name he said he was in!
I'm so excited that I want to post this video as an update immediately. I haven't even looked at it yet, I'm just posting it ASAP. I truly want to thank Ben for his support and can't wait to surprise Penn with it, he will be getting this update simultaneously along with you all... It's Ben Stiller! SO without further ado -- I present BEN STILLER'S "MAKE PENN BAD" SUPPORT VIDEO:
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I want to be a bad guy in my next movie. I want to be a monster. I want to be the nightmare. That's my goal. It would be a sexier goal, I suppose, if I started out as a really good guy, but I've never been hero material. At 6'7" and north of 300 pounds, I don't look like a good guy. No one cheers for Goliath. I did a show called "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!" where the closest we had to a catchphrase was "Then there's THIS asshole." That's not something a good guy says. But recently on a bunch of TV "reality" shows I've tried to be nice and polite. I'm a dad. I'm a husband. I should be nice and polite. But, who gives a flying fuck about nice and polite in movies? Nice is not exciting. Polite is for douches. I want to be an evil f*ck in my next movie, and my next movie is "Director's Cut."
Huffington Post - Read Entire Article here
“Director’s Cut” is a crazy idea for a movie. It’s different than anything you’ve seen before. It’s scary, funny, and very meta. I like movies that are scary, but I don’t want them to be dirt dumb. I want a movie that gets my blood racing, makes me laugh, but also gives me something to think about, with maybe a little sexy thrown in. Hollywood doesn’t make movies like that. They make torture porn and comedies but they don’t put them together. They make smart movies but . . . oh wait, no they don’t make smart movies, nevermind.
Hollywood will give me much more money than I need to make a movie, but NOT THIS MOVIE.
If I tell the suits in Hollywood I want to make another documentary, Hollywood would give me some jingle. If I told the Fat Cats in Hollywood I wanted to do one of those bullshit magic movies they’ve been cranking out – they’d toss me even more money. Maybe one day I’ll do those movies for them, and if I do – I won’t need your help. I got that scene covered. But right now I’m asking you to help me make a movie Hollywood won’t let you see.
You see, I shopped “Director’s Cut” all around Hollywood. Everyone who read it said they loved it (but they lie), but they thought it was too smart for you. They didn’t think it was too smart for THEM.
These guys think they’re smarter than YOU.
Hollywood thought my script was really clever and creepy and funny and scary, but . . . it’s not the formulaic, cookie cutter bullshit they’re comfortable making.
They want me to be a nice guy.
They thought I should play a character closer to what you’d expect out of me. I should play someone like Penn on “The Celebrity Apprentice” or the fun Vegas magic Penn from “Penn & Teller” at the Rio or like the mean Penn on “Penn & Teller: Bullshit.” I love being ALL those Penns (they’re all the same guy really, they’re me, Penn), but for this movie – I don’t want to be any Penn. I want to be a bad guy. Not a bad Penn. A really bad guy with no Penn at all. Just a scary. scary, immoral, sick, sick f’in bad guy.
This movie is from my heart. I love it as much as anything I’ve ever done.
It’s a movie that I really want to see and it won’t take much money by movie standards. But it’ll still cost more money than I have by myself. And I’m not doing this to profit. I have a job. I just want to get this movie made and get it seen. I think it’ll be a blast. And if you’re reading this far, "Director’s Cut" will be a blast for you too.
I've assembled the perfect team.
Adam Rifkin is the exact right director for this. He has tons of experience. Watch his movie, “Look” and you’ll understand how perfect we are for each other. We go together like Jagger & Richards, peanut butter & jelly, or . . . Penn & Teller . . .well, you know what I mean.
And if you help us make this movie, I'll make sure to put your name in the ending credits.
We also have other great rewards for you. We have souvenirs, collector’s items, red carpets, parties and goofy stuff, but most importantly, we have a really great movie. A lot of our rewards involve me hanging out with you, really spending time. If you’re the kind of person that would like this movie, you’re the kind of person I want to hang with. That’s easy for me. We’ll have fun.
I'm betting on YOU!
I would much rather suck up to you to make this movie than suck up to the a-holes in Hollywood. That’s why I’m betting the project of my life on YOU. I think you’re going to love “Director’s Cut,” but the only way you can see it, is to help me get it made. So let’s make a great movie together that we can all be proud of. Don’t you want to see how sick I can be?
Filmmaker Adam Rifkin and Screenwriter Penn Jillette Discuss "Director's Cut".
“Director’s Cut” is a darkly comedic thriller with a twist. It's two films in one. A suspense movie within a suspense movie.
OK so what is it?
Director’s commentaries on movies have been popular as DVD and Blu-ray “extras” long enough that all movie-goers are familiar with the conceit. In fact, movie fans have come to expect them from all of their favorite films and filmmakers. “Director’s Cut” utilizes this collective audience knowledge for a new kind of meta, multileveled plot. As "Director's Cut" begins, we find ourselves watching a taut cop thriller called "Knock Off".
It's a creepy murder mystery in the vein of "Se7en" and “The Silence of the Lambs”.
It's about an older FBI agent and his gorgeous new partner working on a serial killer case where the murderer is mimicking well known killings of famous serial killers of the past. The movie has a great cast and as it plays out we hear the director’s constant commentary as VO over the scenes. He shares tidbits about the making of the movie and stories about working with the actors. Especially the leading lady. In fact, the director seems strangely focused on his starlet. Fixated beyond what one might expect from a professional film director. It’s creepy. As the film continues to unfold we slowly start to realize that this voice is not the film's actual director at all, but that of an obsessed fan who thinks he’s the director. He's actually a psycho who is stalking and terrorizing the lead actress.
But wait there's more!
We start to see hidden, amateur hand held video of our actress edited into the movie. Shots taken from the side of the set without her knowledge. Our stalker has obviously snuck onto the soundstage and is near the real actors. Shots following her home. One of these horrifying video sequences shows the actual kidnapping of the lead actress. Now our villain has the actual actress, the object of his obsession, imprisoned in his home dungeon, where he's erected child quality sets from "Knock Off" and he makes her reshoot scenes she’d already done, but this time the way he wants them to play out. With him as her love interest. All the while the Director’s commentary keeps going, with that same calm and detached tone.
Act as if your life depends on it.
As our starlet acts for her very life, we've gotta ask, will our leading lady ultimately fall prey to our psycho director's planned climactic conclusion, or will "Knock Off" have a happy ending…?
10/4/2013 - Update #6
Hello fellow filmmakers and partners in crime,
Adam Rifkin here with an update I couldn't be more thrilled to report. The last few days have been very exciting over here at "Make Penn Bad" HQ. DIRECTOR'S CUT is officially in pre-production! We now hold the distinction of being the first feature film to actually go into pre-production during our fundraising campaign.
Thank you all for helping Penn and I reach a key milestone. Generally when films in Hollywood are financed, a certain percentage of the budget has to be triggered in order for official pre-production to commence. It's usually an overly complicated and protracted process involving tons of approvals, banking documents and letters of intent.
Thanks to you and your wonderful belief in this project, we've been able to bypass all of that unnecessary red tape and skip straight to official pre-production! Because of you we can hire a casting director, start locking actors, scouting locations, adding key crew members to the team, etc.. The train has left the station, the movie is guaranteed to be made.
But the momentum can't stop now. If you've already contributed, please scream it proudly from the mountain tops and help to inspire others to hop on our "cockeyed caravan". If you haven't contributed yet, please re-watch our pitch video and reread over the list of rewards.
There's lots of neat new stuff, something for everyone! And if you can't afford to chip in, please just help to spread the word. Together we're not only making one movie, we're changing how Hollywood works forever!
10/1/2013 - Update #5
Hey Fellow Filmmaker!
Yippee! Hurray! You are now officially part of crowd-funding history! Adam (I call him Rif, and you’re working with us, so maybe you should too) and I need you to be the first to know (because you’re working with us) about an important decision we’ve made in regards to the making of “Director’s Cut”.
We’ve decided that once we receive 2,000 contributors (we currently have 1,952), we are going to start making this movie. We’ve started writing and funding already, but we’re going to really start production. Already. We’re not going to wait another 33 days until the campaign is over. We’re not going to wait until we reach our final goal of $999,972.
We’re going to begin RIGHT NOW! My buddies at NASA say you can interpolate until the cows come home, but extrapolating is dangerous. Screw them, we’re going to extrapolate our asses off. We trust you and your friends to come through with the rest of the cash and we’re making this movie no matter what. I’m willing to sell Rif’s ass if I have to, we’ll get it done.
That makes YOU part of crowdfunding history. For the first time ever, a crowdfunding project is going into production before the crowdfunding part is even complete! We trust the same way you’ve trusted us. We trust that more people will get behind our mule. We trust that enough money will come in. We want to give you some instant gratification. You deserve to see your hard earned contributions in action now!
The first thing we’re going to do is hire a no-kidding world class casting director. We already have the perfect person in place, but we can’t/won’t make the official announcement until we cross the 2000 contribution mark (which should happen in the next 23 hours).
You’ll be VERY pleased with the selection that Adam and I have made. Once the casting director is in place, we’ll start assembling the cast and approaching our top choices for the female star. Casting is important to our movie. As I’ve said many times, I’m not the star, I’m the bad guy. The star of the movie is a woman, and she’s the victim AND the hero and it’s wicked hard acting. We won’t know what we can really pay this woman until we get a little more of our budget in place, but we can sniff around. Also the two male leads (remember I’m JUST the bad guy, and so so bad), have to be cast. So, we’ll get a casting director and we’ll all know ASAP who our stars are.
P.S. Just because we are starting to make Director’s Cut doesn’t mean we can relax in regards to the fundraising part. Please keep spreading the word and let your friends, family and co-workers know how cool it is that you and I are making a movie together. This is fun.
9/25/2013 - Update #4
I want to be a bad guy in my next movie. I want to be a monster. I want to be the nightmare. That’s my goal. It would be a sexier goal, I suppose, if I started out as a really good guy, but I’ve never been hero material. At 6’7” and north of 300 pounds, I don’t look like a good guy. No one cheers for Goliath. I want to be an evil guy in my next movie, and my next movie is “Director’s Cut.”
I pitched “Director’s Cut” around Hollywood and the suits seemed to like it. They had little tweaks and polishes and little dumbing down here and there and maybe . . . well . . . maybe . . . someone else should be the bad guy. Maybe a bigger star or someone who hadn’t been so nice and polite on TV recently should be the bad guy. But what about my personal goals? What about me wanting to be a bad guy?
“Director’s Cut” has already started. Being part of making this movie is being part of the movie and that’s the idea of the movie. Get it? You will. Oh, you will. With crowdfunding the movie is happening now, and for a few bucks – you’re in it, you’re part of it. How creepy and groovy is that?
I talked to a bunch of my friends and asked them to do videos about me becoming a bad guy. I told them to do whatever they wanted, either celebrating, or lamenting me becoming a bad guy. My friends really came through, and we’re going to be posting the videos at FundAnything.com/Penn. I hope you like them; they make me laugh my evil butt off.
I think I’m going to like being a bad guy . . . .
9/22/2013 - Update #3
Hi fellow filmmakers,
Here’s a friendly reminder to attend this week’s session of Penn’s Sunday School at PennSundaySchool.com (if you don’t catch it live, you can pick it up free on iTunes, and maybe we’ll link on the campaign page). I’m going to be devoting a large part of the show to Director’s Cut. Here’s why:
When you try to finance a movie through the traditional studio system, you’ve got to kiss a whole lot of ass. I don’t mind kissing ass, I often enjoy kissing ass, but I like to have some choice over which asses I kiss and some studio people can be a bit . . . um . . . smug. They make their living convincing some people they know what other people want to see.
They have to believe they know what you want to see. And they’re right often enough to make a living, they make blockbusters. But, there’s a lot of good that they can’t imagine. There’s a lot of good that isn’t like something that came before it. There’s a lot of good that’s risky and crazy.
With Director’s Cut, I’m asking YOU to be the studio. I want to kiss your ass. I’m asking YOU to help me get this movie made. In return YOU deserve to get everything a studio wants and gets. So this week’s PennSundaySchool.com will feature the exact same pitch for “Director’s Cut” that I would give to any studio in Hollywood.
I’ll pitch my ass off to please you and I don’t mind doing this for you. It’s going to be fun for me. I’ll explain what I want this movie to be the way I explained it to Adam Rifkin in a cold call in the middle of the night that made him want to direct it.
I’ll fully explain what the movie is about, why I want to make it, what it means to me, where the money is going and whom we’ve drafted for the team. I may even act parts of it for you. It’s your money, you deserve to know all about this movie, so please listen in.
P.S. Please remember to check back here often. I've got some really cool things planned this week. It's going to get a bit nutty.
9/21/2013 - Update #2
Hello friends, fans and fellow filmmakers,
Firstly, on behalf of Penn and everyone else on the DIRECTOR'S CUT team, WOW! Thank you all so much for your incredible support thus far. The campaign has blasted out of the starting gate like gangbusters and we couldn't be more excited. As of the writing of this update we are already past the $250k mark. Incredible! We are beyond thrilled to know that so many people want to see this crazy film get made as badly as we do. As you know, we are now all in this thing together. We're partners in crime! Since this is a giant team effort it's time for our ever growing DIRECTOR'S CUT army to immediately start work on the film. How that shakes out right now is with our campaign. It's no longer just Penn's and my campaign, it's ALL of our campaign now. As contributors, you are now just as vested in seeing this film get made in the best possible way as we. So please, spread the word, share the link with your friends, post the campaign page on Facebook, tweet, use peer pressure, shame your family, threaten your friends, Hell, scream about it on street corners like a nut (if you do that be sure to send us pics or video). We still have a long way to go to meet our goal so be loud and proud. You've been beyond generous in opening your wallets, but now we need you to open your big mouths!
P.S., In addition to making movies I have also always enjoyed cartooning. Here's a little update doodle I was inspired to draw last night. I'll be posting more throughout the campaign. Thanks again everybody!
9/20/2013 - Update #1
This is Penn with the first of many updates on our movie. Thanks to YOU, the “Director’s Cut” campaign has kicked off and is kicking ass while we’re taking your names to send you groovy stuff. The pitch video I did with our director, Adam Rifkin, is making its way around Twitter. There’s a bunch of people sick and demented enough to want me sick and demented. We live in a great world.
We didn’t want to do a trailer that just asked for money, we wanted to do a trailer that showed the reason we deserved your money to make this movie. Adam used the same crew that he will use on the real movie. We thought this was important because we wanted to prove to you all up front—before you plunk down your hard earned money - that we really knew what movie we wanted to make. I thought up this movie, Adam has it in his brain, and all together we’ll put it on the screen.
We will start shooting the movie right after we finish the campaign, but we’re already starting the nutty fun. The movie is “meta” as they say, and this campaign is part of the movie. You’ll see. The art project has started. We want you to enjoy “Director’s Cut”, but we also want you to enjoy the making of “Director’s Cut”, and we even want you to enjoy the fund raising for “Director’s Cut”.
With a traditional studio movie, the fun doesn’t start until the movie is released. You’ll see that this campaign is part of the fun, it will have an arc, a plot, and lots of surprises. It’s going to get a little nutty, there will be more to watch than a money total and new rewards. To Adam and me, the project started many months ago and we’re glad to have you on board from here on.
I’ve brought a lot of my showbiz friends in to do videos for me right here on this page, and you’ll be the first to see them. I think you’re going to want to see them. I think you’re going to want to check back here really often. You watch. There’s no faith involved, I’ve seen these videos – you do want to see them.
I am really humbled by this great start. We’re amazed. Thanks thanks thanks. Please keep spreading the word. We’re going to make this movie no matter what, but the more money we get, the better we can make it. Hey, if you get enough people helping us . . . our movie can have a big car chase. Maybe two. We’ve got one written just in case.
Thanks so much for being part of this – I think you might like this movie a lot and we hope you like everything leading up to it.